A Damn Shame...

Shaming is all the rage these days... at least accusing people of shaming is all the rage. Shaming culture, they call it... You've heard about it: Slut shaming, fat shaming, age shaming, gender shaming, shame shaming, and a looong list of others. 

I get that some of that stuff is legitimate but this shit is getting out of hand. I think the most hilarious idiom to come out of the rabid shaming culture is so called 'fit shaming'. I'm sad to report that's a 100 percent real thing, cross my titties, hope to die. I saw a gorgeous friend of mine on social media ranting about how upset she was because people were saying things like, "well you wouldn't understand, you can eat whatever you want" and "we want to get pizza but I guess we'll just order you a salad" and laughing. I almost spit out my beer I was laughing so hard. Oh you poor poor thing, how dare THOSE FUCKING MONSTERS compliment you and offer to buy you salad! Lets beat them with gluten free breadsticks! 

I mean, what the fuck is wrong with people? Why is recreational outrage so popular nowadays? I know I sound like an old lady here but I'm not gunna feel sorry for the attractive well adjusted Ambers of the world just because they lack perspective. 

Let me get this straight, hot chick, you want us to feel bad for you because people are making insensitive comments about how healthy and in shape you are? Nope. Sorry. Not buying it. You are not an oppressed and marginalized subculture an actual oppressed subcultures should be offended. Shaming culture does not exist to satisfy your narcissism. 

Now I should say that body shaming and bullying are real and to use the parlance of our times, is so not cool dude. If someone calls another person anorexic or obese or a nasty slur in a mean or abusive way, they clearly have no manners and should be discouraged from reproducing. But what happened to stiff lips and turn the other cheek? What happened to sticks and stones? Why is everyone so goddamn fragile. Old lady rant in 3-2-1... When I was a kid, when someone called you an anorexic pepperoni face, you called him a cousinfucker, chugged some high fructose corn syrup and moved on. I don't remember being defined by the worst things people said about me. To me, thats giving other people too much power. Its forfeiture. Its validating a bully's power over you. Its selling your self worth to the lowest bidder. The best revenge is a happy life. Why are people so willing to hand over their peace of mind to cousinfuckers? It makes no sense. 

So, to everyone feeling shamed in whatever respect, I have some advice. Try focusing on the good every now and again... take gratitude for a spin around the block. Radical as it may sound, you don't have to be outraged at every little cousinfuckers insensitive comment. Stiffen that upper lip for Beyonce's sake! Own your space, take the high road and stop being such a little bitch about every minor pothole. Cousinfuckers don't write your story, you do. If that doesn't work, Try compassion. You don't know what terrible tragedies have befallen that cousinfucker. Maybe his tremendous cousinfucker pain makes him an asshole, don't let that be your problem. Be grateful you aren't him. 

And hot chicks, I have some advice for you too; shut up. Please god... just shut up. Just be happy you're hot and stop using the phrase 'fit shaming', its not a real thing. Just eat your damn kale and be happy you're healthy. And if you want attention on social media stick to duckface selfies, butt pics and pictures of your gross vegan cupcakes.